Review: Tokyomilk Dark Lip Elixir in Salted Caramel

Product: Tokyomilk Dark Lip Elixir in Salted Caramel

Review: I got this lip balm as part of Tokyomilk Dark's Tainted Love Tempting Trio during my neverending quest to find my perfect perfume. Just to save some of you time in case you're interested: The perfume rollerball is great and the lotion is strongly scented and is the perfect size for a purse, isn't greasy and is moderately moisturizing. You will like the fragrance a lot if you're into sweeter gourmand scents, like vanilla/tonka bean, and don't loathe sandalwood (you can smell a bit of the sandalwood in the dry-down). It's a great deal, so if that's up your alley, I highly recommend it. Now, for the lip balm, which was my favorite part of the whole thing.

I LOVE this lip balm. I love it so much, I want to buy 2 more (the coco noir and cherry bourbon scents sound amazing to me), even though the tins are huge and it will take me forever and a half to get through them all. These are great value. Each lip balm is $7 and you get a huge tin of the stuff. Have you tried Smith's Rosebud Salve? The tin is even bigger than that one. Awesome. Packaging-wise, the tin is so cute and vintage-y. Some people have complained about the lid, but I've had no problems with it whatsoever. I'm used to tins, though. As for the balm itself, most people seem to either love it or hate it. You will hate it if you hate thick, waxy balms like Burt's Bees or if you hate petrolatum-based or perfumed balms. You will love it if you don't care about balm texture, ingredients, perfume, and just want an awesome cheap lip balm that will last for ages, smells great, and tastes pleasant. Texture-wise, you can expect it to be thick and a little tacky at first, but once it warms up on your lips, it actually feels really smooth and pleasant. It winds up looking really natural with just a hint of shine. Plus, it made my lips really soft.

I have probably over 30 different lip balms (5 are in my purse right now), and while a lot of them are great at keeping my dry winter lips from getting worse or masking the problem, none of them have actually improved the texture. Only exfoliation and night treatments have done that for me. This is the first balm I can remember that actually makes my lips noticeably softer, and I honestly can't understand why this works so well and none of the all-natural balms or balms with super-amazing-sounding ingredients have had the same effect. I'm not saying that this balm doesn't have some nice-sounding ingredients. It's got aloe extract, vitamin E, safflower seed oil, green tea extract, bee balm extract and jasmine extract, but the base is petrolatum, microcrystalline wax and canola oil. Some good, some bad, but I don't really get how it works so well.  I just know that my lips are soft and I guess that's all I care about. Also, the smell of the Salted Caramel balm is awesome. It's like handmade soft caramels mixed with a little maple. Yum. And it's sweetened with stevia, so it even tastes nice. More yum. All in all, I LOVE this balm and it's going to be my new best friend.

Funny story about this balm-- when I first tried it, my lips broke out 2 days later with these tiny, itchy little bumps. The bumps were so tiny that I had to get right up in the mirror to see them, but I could sure feel them.  I thought I was allergic to this balm, which made me so sad, because I had freakin LOVED it up until that point. This weird lip problem has happened to me before, and I'd always just assumed I'd developed an allergy to a lipbalm ingredient, even though I could never pinpoint what it was. But since I hadn't had any issues the first day, I decided to do some research. Turns out, some people who eat mangos are allergic and get contact dermatitis that exactly resembled my little issue. And I'd eaten mango a couple of hours before I noticed the bumps. I started wearing this balm again after the bumps went away and haven't had an issue since! So, now I know I have a mango allergy. Thanks, internet!!

Rating: A- (if you like this kind of balm)
Price: $7
Where to buy: Sephora

Review: Lorac TANtalizer Highlighter & Matte Bronzer Duo

Product: Lorac TANtalizer Highlighter & Matte Bronzer Duo

Review: I've been looking for a great contouring bronzer for a while. I have a medium skintone, and I find that a lot of bronzers are just too light to be great for contouring on me. When I saw this compact came in a limited edition travel-size, I snatched it up right away, because the product description makes it sound like it's specifically for contouring and highlighting and I'm cheap. All I can say is thank god I didn't go and buy the $32 full-size version, because I would have been really annoyed.

First, the good. I like the bronzer well enough. It's still not quite as dark as I was looking for, but it's close and I can get the effect I want on my cheekbones by building up the color. For those of you who think I'm crazy, here is a diagram that is pretty close to what I follow:

I contour and blend like a mofo before applying my foundation, so it's all very subtle and whatnot. As much as I HATE Kim Kardashian, this is a great before and after:

I might someday get to the point where I cave and use a dark concealer/foundation to get the contouring I want, but I just like powders so much more. Sigh. Anyway, back to this product thingy and me liking the bronzer. It's a good little bronzer. Matte, decent pigmentation, pretty decent texture, and not orangey. Soooo glad it's not orangey or sparkly, you have no idea. It's weirdly hard to find, and I totally plan on using this in the summer when I want to look more sun-kissed (I wear tons of SPF on my face, so it doesn't tan, really). Oh, and I also love the compact. It's gold, shiny, and super cute.

Now for the stuff I don't like. For the bronzer, the only thing that really bugs me is that the staying power isn't amazing and it's not as dark as I would like a contouring bronzer to be (but I understand if I'm in the minority in this, due to my contouring preferences). For the highlighter, I really can't think of anything positive to say. Where to start? First off, it's a weird beigey pink color, which is NOT what you want a highlighter to be. You want it to be more of a neutral vanilla shade, like theBalm's Mary Lou-manizer that I loved so much. This is more like an awkward extremely pale blush than it is a highlighter. You should be able to use highlighter all over your face, but the pink undertones look weird under the brows and pretty much everywhere except your cheeks. Also,  the overall product is horrible.

I have tried tons of blushes and highlighters, and this is, by far, the worst because the product will not stick to my skin. Like, at all. I tried it with and without different primers, different brushes, and no luck. I could see it falling off my brushes all over the place, but almost none would get deposited on my face. The stuff that was left, you could barely see and it would just wipe off. It's like one of those horribly crappy powders you get in a makeup-for-kids set. Actually, those might be better, now that I think of it. I thought the Bella Bomba blush was a little powdery. This stuff makes it look like NARS in comparison. I read some reviews that were like, "Oh I love it, it's so subtle!" Yeah? It's subtle because you can barely get any to stick to your face! For a $32 price tag, you should be getting a finely-milled, highly pigmented powder that you only need a little bit of to get the effect you want. This? This is just ridiculous. I have $3 crappy eyeshadow that works better as a highlighter than this stuff. As for reviews where people liked it, I can only think that they have little-to-no experience with real highlighting products, which is a pity, because a good highlighter should be one of the most versatile products in your makeup arsenal.

Verdict? Save your money and buy something better. I regret even paying $12 for the travel size and will probably return it, just because the highlighter makes me angsty and I don't want to own something that crappy.

Grade: B for the bronzer half, F for the highlighter. So... D+?

Price: $32, regular. $12 travel-size.

Where to buy: Sephora

Review: Smashbox Jet Set Waterproof Eye Liner

Product: Smashbox Jet Set Waterproof Eye Liner

Review: I have an obsession with eyeliner. I won't go a day without it, because I love how it looks on me. For a long time, I only used liquid. Then, I switched to pencils because it's easier to apply in the morning. Swipe, smudge and go, yo. Mistakes? Smudge it out and make your eye more smokey. Then add more to get a more defined line. So fast, so easy. Especially now that I live with my man and his bathroom doesn't have a nice place where I can rest my elbow and see into a mirror at the same time. It's amazing how much easier it is to get identical cat eye application when you have a place to rest your elbow, I swear. 

Anyways, you'd think that I would have tried out more gel liners by now, but this is only my second. I guess, in my head, they were just a lot more fussy than they are in reality. Because in reality, I think they're even faster to apply than pencil. I just use a stiff, angled liner brush, get some liner on there, and make a soft cat eye. DONE. Love love love. 

What I like about this particular liner is that the color is rich, highly pigmented, not shiny but not 100% matte. It's a great in-between liner. More intense than pencil, but less of a crisp line than liquid. No waiting for it to dry, either. The consistency is nice, and it's easy to apply with an angled brush without tugging or great amounts of effort. You do have to apply it fast before it sets, though, because if you putz, it won't blend and will start flaking as you fuss with it. Apply it fast, and then leave it alone. I would suggest not using a stereotypical liner brush unless the bristles are very stiff, because you might find the formula too thick or waxy. With a good angled brush, it's great. I use this one from MAC. 

Another thing I like is that it really is long-wearing. Looks great the next morning after a night of marathoning Bones on Netflix. Yes, that happened. Because I am awesome like that. 

As for the things I don't like: sometimes, when I'm applying it, it flakes off my brush a little bit. Also, there is a little fall-out through the work day, of which I am not a fan. I want to have what I have with liquids and never have to worry about having the "raccoon" effect, you know? And I also don't like that it's not compatible with my normal liner brushes. They're just too weak to handle this stuff and give me a precise line. But none of these things are enough to keep me from using it all the time, so it works. Not sure I'd buy it again, because there are so many other ones to try that I think could perform a bit better. 

Grade: B-

Price: $22

Where to buy: Sephora

Review: Ojon Volume Advance Thickening Spray

The Product: Ojon Volume Advance Thickening Spray

The Review: I like to have awesome bombshell hair. The whole stick-straight hair thing is not at all flattering for my roundish face, nor is it as fun as having  wavy, volumized sex hair of awesome. To illustrate:

Noooooo, I no likey. Also, at first glance, I thought this was Mila Kunis. 

This is Mila Kunis, who also loves her some flat irons. 

This is more my flavor:

RAWR

Anyway, I got this product because most reviews of it were all like, "OMG! My super fine hair is so volumized now!" Sorry to say, with my hair, this was not the case. I usually use a volumizing mousse and blowdry my hair upside down to get my hair looking awesome, so I was really bummed out when this product couldn't even match up to my cheap-ass TRESsemme. What the hell, Ojon? Not only did it give me almost no volume, but by the end of the day my hair was flatter than when I blowdry it without product, and it looked like I had never showered in the first place. Greasy roots are gross. I guess I should have expected this from the weird, tacky texture of the spray, but I was hoping that it would be different when my hair was actually dry. Basically, this is what I get when I'm all like, "Eff you drugstore deals, I'ma try this fancy hair stuff instead!"

Um.... to say something positive... it doesn't smell gross and the packaging is visually appealing. And it didn't seem to damage my hair at all.

Long story short, save your money. There are PLENTY of cheaper products that will give you a ton of volume and not piss you off. You could actually buy like 3-5 of them for the same price.

Grade: C-
Price: $24
Where to buy: Birchbox

Perfume Rant

Prepare for an extensive rant on perfumes. 

Perfume has recently become my new obsession. It might actually be eclipsing my makeup obsession at the moment, I kid you not. The reason for this is that I'm on the hunt for a new "signature" fragrance that I can wear daily as I feel my other ones no longer fit me. I want something that my boyfriend likes as well and that doesn't make my scent allergies act up. Easier said than done, my friends!

My boy is very... uncaring when it comes to perfume. He just doesn't like anything. Everything is "Eh, it's ok" to him. When I try something new, I have learned to ask, "Does it repel you?" because anything else gets a "meh." All I really, really want to find something that the boy smells on me and says, "Damn honey, you smell good!" The only goddamn perfume that has ever, ever happened with was Taylor Swift's Wonderstruck. I was testing out a sample I got, and he sniffed me when I got home and said, "You smell nice." Only time he's ever complimented me on how I smell! Ever! UGH!! NO. I already have the shame of living with a liking for Britney Spears' Curious. I refuse to be stuck with another celebriscent, so help me. So, the seemingly neverending quest to find a new perfume continues... 

My criteria thus far: 

-The perfume needs to have gourmand notes, because those tend to keep the scent-related migraines at bay for whatever reason. Fruit, vanilla, chocolate, cupcakes... all are fine by me. 

-The manfriend must smell me and say "you smell nice." He's done it once, he can do it again! 

-I need to like the perfume enough to enjoy smelling it on myself all day long. 

Side note: Be amazed that I didn't link almost everything to Sephora like I usually do when I'm lazy (which is all the time). Perfume is way cheaper on Amazon, so when the price difference was significant, I linked to those instead. Savin you monies. You are welcome. 

I currently own: Burberry Classic (impulse buy I never wear, but like spraying it in the air sometimes), Marc Jacobs Lola (I like it), Stella McCartney Stella (it's like sexy roses, and I love me some roses), Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Things Noir (used to wear this scent all the time. Now it reminds me of my pre-committed-relationship phase where I partied all the time and spent most of it hungover) and Escada Moon Sparkle (dumbest scent name ever, but it smells like passionfruit to me and I LOVE passionfruit. It just doesn't work as nicely with my body chemistry as I'd like it to. It's also discontinued.), Britney Spears Curious (I hate myself for owning this, but it smells good on me) and Fresh Brown Sugar (sugary lemony goodness). 

I have recently tried and liked/loved: 

-Chloe Chloe. Fruity delicious roses. I love this perfume soooo much, but my friend and former roommate owns it, so I don't want us to smell like twinsies. I think it's so fresh and pretty and elegant. And the boyfriend smelled me and went "meh." 

-D&G L'Imperatrice. Fresh, orangey, happiness. God, I want this perfume the most. It's so light and perfect for summer or winter when I'm wishing it was summer. It reminds me of mimosas. Again, no boyfriend response. But I don't care and might buy it anyway for myself. He can learn to like it. 

-Taylor Swift's Wonderstruck. I did think it smelled nice, but almost too sweet. Kinda like flowery cookies. Since it's the only smell the boy has positively responded to, I might get a rollerball. Hell no on that tacky perfume bottle. 

-Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy La Fleur. I just adored this one, because it wasn't as heavy Viva La Juicy. Sadly, the staying power is lacking and it got the boyfriend "meh" response. 

-Lavanila Pure Vanilla. Just got a sample of this yesterday and am currently wearing it at work. Doesn't actually smell like real vanilla, more like creme brulee, but it's warm and I think I like it. Boyfriend approval pending. 

-Tokyomilk Tainted Love. This is like a sexier, more refined version of Sexy Little Things Noir. I think it's my favorite "darker" scent so far. Vanilla bean, tonka bean, white tea, citrus... all things I love. I have the hand lotion on right now.  Boyfriend approval also pending on this one. I'm going to wear it to work tomorrow, so we shall see! I hope he likes it, cause it's cheap. $36!

And then there have been some that I hated: 

-Stella McCartney L.I.L.Y. Probably the most old-ladyish scent I've tried so far. I couldn't even wear it. The boyfriend was like, "Gross, grandma." 

-Tocca Beauty Cleopatra. The lady in the store swore up and down that I would love this one. And for the first 10 minutes or so, I liked it. But after an hour, the patchouli stuck out waaaay too much on me. I don't want to smell like an old hippie commune, thanks. Especially at work. 

-Especially Escada. I love rose scents, but this one smells a little too chemical and like stale roses to me. Blergh.

-Paco Rabanne Lady Million. This one dried down and started to smell like grape koolaid on me. Not a good thing. 

-Issey Miyake L'Eau d'Issey. I swear, everyone and their grandma loves this scent and I might be the only person who hates it. But I hate it. And I can smell it from 10 feet away when a person is wearing it. Something about it just grosses me out!

Amazon buying tips: be careful about buying from 3rd party sellers. I didn't have time to go through and check out the seller reviews, so definitely do that when it comes to perfumes. You don't want a diluted tester.  

And that is the end of my perfume rant. Until next time. Feel free to leave me perfume suggestions in the comments, especially if you are a dude cause we all know my man has no opinion unless it pertains to Taylor Swift (and I will be shocked a guy actually came across this blog). More makeup reviews to come! Probably tomorrow. 

Review: theBalm® cosmetics Mary-Lou Manizer

The Product: theBalm® cosmetics' Mary-Lou Manizer

The Review:  This is another Birchbox find. Yaaaay, sample boxes! Every time I start thinking they're getting disappointing, I wind up getting something really great that keeps me shilling out my $10 every month. This is one of those products.

Basically, this is one of those all-in-one products; it can be used as an all-over luminizing powder, a highlighter, or an eyeshadow. I've tried using it as all three and have liked it every which way. I prefer a more matte finish as opposed to a "luminized" one on my face (don't want to be no sparkle bomb), but as a face powder, it's surprisingly subtle. Still, I usually use it as an eyeshadow or a highlighter. Loooove it as an eyeshadow, because it's such a pretty color and blends well with all my other shadows. Thus far, I have noticed no creasing! As a highlighter, it's great because it's pretty buildable. Subtle highlight or more pronounced, your pick!

On the more technical side, it's a very finely-milled powder with a lot of pigment, which is why it's so versatile. No scent. Plus, the packaging is super cute. Love, love, love. This is another product where it lives up to its claims and doesn't piss me off. The only thing I can really think of to gripe about is that it's $24, and I am a broke-ass biatch these days. Damn you, economy and damn you, job, with your crappy peon's salary. But honestly, I don't mind spending the money on something like this because it's high-quality and very versatile.

The Grade: A

Price: $24

Where to buy: Birchbox

Julep Freedom Polymer Top Coat

The Product: Julep Freedom Polymer Top Coat

The Review: I got this product in my Julep Maven box last month (I think it was last month), and it is hands-down the BEST topcoat I have ever tried. I can honestly say that I have no snark to throw at it because it does the one thing I thought impossible: it smudgeproofs my nails and blows my mind.

Basically, it's like an easily-removed gel polish top coat that cures under natural light in 5 minutes or less, leaving your nails super glossy and smudgeproof. Even if the polish underneath is still kinda soft (I am way too impatient for this manicure stuff). I think it's just miraculous, because until now, I have always wound up with some smudges no matter how careful I am. I swear my nails smudge themselves just to spite me for years of biting them. And now they can't! HAHAHA! Take that, nails!

I guess the only mild complaint I have is that my nails aren't 100% chip-proof, but then again, I'm not good about sealing my nail edges and never reapply this topcoat every 3 days like they suggest. I'm probably mostly to blame for that, and OMG my nails are so shiny and smudge-free!

Be warned though that you can still dent your nails for an hour or so after using this topcoat if you're like me and are too impatient to let your polish harden all the way. Oh, and definitely don't be like me and take a hot shower an hour after painting your nails, because you will wreck the pretty self-manicure you just spent half an hour on and have to spend another half hour redoing it. But smudging? Nope. Hands down the most awesome top coat I have ever used, and I will never, ever go back to OPI and whatever else I have in my topcoat collection. I might actually throw them or give them all away, now that I think about it... So in love with this topcoat am I. Sigh...

At $18 for a non-Maven, it's a little spendy, but it's sooooo worth it if you are addicted to polishing your nails. I seriously don't know if I can ever get this excited about a nail product again. It might be impossible. Unless Julep comes out with a bunch of Freedom Polymer Polishes... EEEE! This needs to happen.

Grade: A+
Price: $18, $14.40 if you're a Maven.
Where to Buy: julep.com